Toys aren't only for solo time. Bringing one into the bedroom together is easier than many people think. Start with something simple, and talk about it first.
Four easy ways in
- Vibrating rings. Worn during sex for extra vibration for both partners. A stretchy silicone ring such as Je Joue Maximum Stretch Silicone Cock Ring Black ($14.95) is a simple first step; Satisfyer Strong One Rechargeable Vibrating Cock Ring ($54.95) adds a rechargeable vibrating ring.
- App-controlled toys. One partner wears or uses the toy; the other controls it from a phone, across the room or across the country. Examples: Lovense Diamo Vibrating Blue Tooth Cock Ring ($179.95) (a ring) and Lovense Dolce Adjustable Dual Vibrator ($219.95) (a dual vibrator).
- Small external vibrators. A bullet or small wand can be used during sex, held by either partner. Je Joue G-Spot Silicone Rechargeable Bullet Purple ($69.95) is a small, rechargeable option.
- Comfort extras. Lube (JO H2O Classic Personal Lubricant 16oz ($39.95)) and a washable throw such as Liberator Fascinator Throw Mini Merlot ($84.95) keep things comfortable and easy to clean up.
Talking about it
- Bring it up outside the bedroom, casually.
- Browse together and pick something small first.
- Agree on a "pause" word and check in as you go.
Long distance
App-controlled toys keep working over the internet, so partners in different cities can still share them. Check each brand's app and privacy settings before you start.
Quick answers
What's the easiest toy for couples to start with? A vibrating ring or a small bullet.
Do app toys need Wi-Fi? They connect to your phone by Bluetooth; long-distance play goes through the brand's app over the internet.
Will the box give it away? No. Every order ships in a plain box.
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More guides
- How to choose your first vibrator: a beginner's guide
- Lube guide: water, silicone, oil or aloe?
- Sex toy materials explained: silicone, glass, metal, ABS and more
- How to clean and store your sex toys
- Discreet sex toy shopping in Canada: packaging, billing and privacy
- Wand vibrators compared: Magic Wand vs Dame Com
- Prostate massagers: a beginner's guide




