Strap-ons and harnesses: a beginner's guide
A strap-on is a harness that holds a dildo in place, so it can be worn hands-free. You can buy a ready-made set, or choose a harness and a dildo separately. Here's how to decide.
- Ships from Canada
- Discreet box
- No duty
- Free shipping from $75
Our top 3 picks
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Best for most peopleROMP Piccolo Pegging Kit ($77.99)Silicone dildo with a suction cup, sold as a pegging kit.
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Best valueSELOPA Our First Hollow Strap-On ($36.99)Hollow silicone dildo and elastic harness. Fits waists 24 to 48 in.
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Best upgradeStrap-on-Me Vibrating Strap On Medium Purple ($178.99)Three motors and a wireless remote. Waterproof (IPX7) and USB rechargeable.
Shipping is $9.95, and free on orders from $75. A water-based lube such as JO H2O Classic 2oz ($19.99) or a toy cleaner such as Wicked Cleene 4oz ($18.99) helps you get there.
Ready-made or build your own?
- Ready-made sets are the easiest start. The dildo and harness are made to fit each other. Examples: Sportsheets Saffron Strap On ($52.99), ROMP Piccolo Pegging Kit ($77.99), SELOPA Our First Hollow Strap-On ($36.99).
- Build your own if you want a specific dildo size or feel. Pick a harness, then any dildo with a flared base that fits its O-ring. See our harness-compatible dildos.
Harness styles
| Style | Example | Good for |
|---|---|---|
| Underwear-style and adjustable straps | Strap-On-Me Leatherette Harness Curious ($105.99) | Most people; a secure, everyday fit |
| Thigh harness | Sportsheets Thigh Strap on Harness ($42.99) | Wearing on the thigh for a different angle, and for people who find hip harnesses uncomfortable |
| Vibrating strap-on | Strap-on-Me Vibrating Strap On Medium Purple ($178.99) | Vibration for the wearer as well |
Choosing a dildo size
- Start smaller than you think. A slimmer dildo is much easier for a first time.
- Sizes in a single line make this easy. The Strap-on-Me Sliding Skin dildo comes in Small to XXL, for example Strap-on-Me Sliding Skin Realistic Dildo Fuchsia - Small ($105.99) and Strap-on-Me Sliding Skin Realistic Dildo Fuchsia - Medium ($119.99).
- Silicone is the most popular choice: body-safe, firm and easy to clean. More in toy materials.
Pegging
Pegging means using a strap-on with a partner who has a prostate. A beginner kit like ROMP Piccolo Pegging Kit ($77.99) pairs a small, smooth dildo with a simple harness. Go slowly, use plenty of lube, and read our prostate guide first.
Lube and cleaning
- Use plenty of water-based lube. It's safe with every dildo material.
- Wash the dildo after each use with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner. Most harnesses are hand-wash only; check the label.
See how to clean and store your sex toys.
Quick answers
Do all dildos fit all harnesses? Most dildos with a flared base fit most O-ring harnesses. Very wide bases may need a larger ring.
What's a hollow strap-on? A hollow dildo that can be worn over a penis. SELOPA Our First Hollow Strap-On ($36.99) is an example.
Is it discreet when it arrives? Yes. Every order ships in plain packaging. See discreet shopping.
How does shipping work? Orders ship from Canada in a plain, unmarked box, so there is no duty. Shipping is $9.95, and free on orders from $75.
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